


Practical Magic, Impractical uses and a lot of booze.

by BeastGirl2k14



Series: A metaphorical fjord full of metaphorical ships that I may or may not ship...metaphorically [2]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: A lot of the second chapter is promted off of the Text's from Young Justice tumblr, Aka me, And Alice and Wonderland references, Birthday Party, Drunken humour that literally sounds like a drunk person wrote it, Even Sketchier Mobile bar bartenders/, F/F, Gen, Humor, I hope you're all aware that I'm probs hammered or hungover while writing this, It's been that kind of week, M/M, Multi, Sketchy Warehouses, Superheros using their powers to entertain their friends, bullshit, come on guys, hint they did, it was me, the most practical use of magic is to cure concussions and hangovers.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1733042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeastGirl2k14/pseuds/BeastGirl2k14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Eb mlac." a soft voice slipped into your ears so gently and teeth rottingly sweet that you almost wanted to throw up. The alcohol running rampant through your veins probably wasn't helping. "Just take the concussion away so we can go see who pops out of my cake, Zee."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just go with it.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4 am. I am so sorry if its the absolute worst and I just can't tell.

You were drunk, you knew it. Tonight had started off as just your birthday party, but a game of spin the bottle, an open bar and M'gann, Zatanna and Wally using their powers as...well basically amusement park rides for all of you, had left you shitfaced beyond belief and hiding in an empty room with Zatanna trying to fix your concussion without consulting paramedics.

Currently, you were enjoying the comforting warmth of Zatanna's lap, trying not to throw up as she tucked a loose strand of your golden hair behind your ear. Spells slipped out of her mouth like sunlight dripping out of the sky (You are really fucking drunk right now) and they felt warm on your skin. You assumed the spells were meant to make you feel better, (honestly, you didn't have the mental capacity to figure out what ever she was saying backwards.) but so far they'd only made your speech a little less slurred and the world stopped tipping side to side like some bullshit teeter totter on crack.

"Raelc ruoy dnim, Simetra" You heard her voice again and you couldn't help but peer up at her, bright blue eyes already peering down at you. Locks of dark hair and soft looking skin taking over your world, enveloping you completely. "Tser, Ebab." You had no clue what she was saying but they were the sweetest things that had ever fallen upon your ears.

(Rewind to a few hours earlier.)

You pushed the rusted orange door of a large warehouse open and all but dragged Zatanna into the throng of people and flashing lights with you. You two were toting along bags of snacks and booze procured through sketchy means. The booming bass blasting out of the speakers all around the dance floor (this 'club' was actually an abandoned warehouse that M'gann and the rest of the Team had decorated for your party.) was so loud it seemed almost like it was shaking the ground. A large man (You think he went to M'gann's school. Mal or something like that.) took the bags from you and Z, disappearing promptly. The two of you scoped out the building, recognizing several familiar faces. A few minutes of socializing later, you were pulling Zatanna into the crowd of dancing bodies.

You stopped in the middle of the floor, turned around and pulled Zatanna toward you. Curious blue eyes peered at you through dark eyelashes, searching your face for a hint of what you were planning. A grin pulled at your lips as you grabbed her hips, moving them and yours in time with the blaring music. "Just go with it." You said over the music.

"If you wanted to dance, you could have just asked." she murmured against your ear, pushing your hands off of her hips. You noticed that they didn't stop swaying and she hadn't let go of your wrists. You rolled your eyes as you slid your hands into hers. "Neither of us are drunk enough to enjoy this level of bass."

"Kaldur said something about an open bar. Up for it, Zanny?" You suggested and smirked as she groaned at your silly petname for her. She didn't even bother to answer you. You knew you two would end up there later anyway.

Your conversation grew sparser and sparser until the two of you were just dancing, being grinded on by strangers and a little bit thrown off when there was a bassdrop in the music. You barely caught a flash of red out of your peripheral vision before Zatanna gasped and was suddenly pushed into your arms. A familiar laugh and another flash of red clued you in on what had happened.

"Goddammit Wally." Zatanna growled, clinging onto your shoulders, trying to regain her footing. You couldn't help but laugh. You don't know if it was the alcohol making it funnier or what, but watching her get pranked by Wally of all people, being the all powerful, super talented magician she was, seemed hilarious.

"Are you laughing at me?" She frowned, pouting a little.

"Me? Noooo, I would never ever laugh at you, Zee." You teased through stifled giggles. That silly sarcastic pouty face of hers was not helping.

"Uh huh." She smirked at you, which made the pit of your stomach twist. The twinkle in those electric blue eyes spelled trouble. Backwards!

"Simetra sesool reh ecnalab."

The sway in your hips faltered and your knees felt weak. And not in the good, 'I'm so in love' way. You were lucky that Zatanna was still in arms length or else you would have ended up on the floor. The blaring bass was not helping and you ended up clinging to Zatanna this time around. Her sing song laughter filled your ears, even through the dubstep-esk music. Oh, if she wanted to play it that way, you'd play.

"If you wanted me all over you, you could have asked." You whispered, a bit of a mocking tone laced into your words as your lips purposely grazed her ear. You felt her shudder and push lightly on your shoulders. "Or you we could go get a drink." You winked at her, turning on your heels and heading toward the bar. You assumed she would follow.

You were glad M'gann had hired a 'mobile open mini-bar.' that had a bartender/Maybe magician who didn't care if you were 21 or not. You also kind of wondered how she found said mobile-open-mini-bar-bartender-magician. It was probably best not to ask. You waved your hand and caught the sketchy bartenders attention. You ordered 2 vodkas. Fairly simple yet hardcore. Kind of like you. Oh no, you're identifying with alcohol...

Zatanna filled up the barstool next to you and your nose was filled with the light lavender scent of her dark hair. And the smell of booze and vomit from everyone else around you. You slid the short clear glass of vodka toward your blue eyed friend.

"Pots." she muttered and the glass stopped in front of her. You raised your eyebrows at her as she downed the entire glass in one impressive gulp. Zee set the glass down on the bar, shivering as the vodka set fire to her nerves. She looked at you, locking a determined gaze with yours and opened her mouth like she was going to say something. There was familiar laughter and a flash of red and suddenly Wally was in between the two of you, long arms around both of your necks, pulling you closer to him. You were pretty sure you could have been ten feet away from him and you still would have been able to smell the stench of alcohol on his breath. Then again, you had no room to judge as you sipped on your own poison of choice.

"How's my favourite archer and homo magi?" The drunken speedster slurred, leaning closer to Zatanna. "Emphasis on homo." he winked. Zatanna growled and tried to push him away, only succeeding in turning his attentions toward you. You'd never seen such a wide, goofy grin on Wally's freckled face or such a bright twinkle in his emerald green eyes before and it ignited that need to cut him the fuck down deep in your soul.

"Why don't you go grind on Dick some more, Wallace." You snapped, emphasizing his full first name. "Pun intended." Wally shot you a dirty look, drunken, yet still dirty.

"No." He said defiantly, letting go of his grip on you and Zatanna and crossing his arms over his chest, resembling a child. A horny, drunk child.

"Seriously, Unless you want me telling Zatanna your middle name," you leaned toward Wally. "I suggest you get lost." The ginger haired fiend frowned angrily at you and stuck a pink tongue out. Fucking horny, drunk child. The next moment he was gone and you were left alone with Zatanna again. Not that you minded. Her lips spread into an easy smile as you caught yourself staring at her.

"What's his middle name?" She inquired, swiveling in her chair and turning her body toward you, that smile still on her face.

"Rudolph." You both laughed, a chorus of airy vocalizations. Once your giggling subsided, you all but slammed the drink you'd been idly sipping at back down on the bartop next to you. You stood up and slipped your hands into Zatanna's. "Let's go dance some more!" You smiled brightly at her, feeling the vodka creep through your body, heating you up from your core all the way to the tips of your fingers and the bottom of your feet.

Zatanna didn't seem to have any problems with you dragging her back out into the middle of the dance floor. You both found the beat of the song quickly and were being grinded against even quicker. Neither of you really minded the guys gathering around, dancing and flexing against you. It was all about you and Zatanna right now. Your eyes locked with Zatanna's baby blues as you danced and she fucking smirked at you. Oh yeah, two can definitely play at this game.

(You're very drunk.)

You reached behind you, resting your hand on the shoulder of the guy who had been dancing behind you since you stepped foot on the dance floor. Yet he hadn't been grinding or really even touching you much. Maybe he was gay. You didn't give it another thought, you had an agenda here.  
You smiled devilishly at Zatanna before shimmying down the guy's (who smelled vaguely like fish and alcohol.) muscular physique. You were pretty satisfied when you shimmied back up and Zatanna's eyes had widened quite a bit.

"Pardon, Artemis." A familiar (strained) voice whispered from behind you. Oh fucking fuck.

"Kaldur?!" You spun around and sure enough, if nautical nonsense something you wish, it was Kaldur. In the fins. He looked semi-embarrassed, his light grey eyes aimed at the ground. You almost laughed as you rested your hands on his shoulders, your hips still swaying to the beat.

"I was only ensuring no unsavory characters bothered the birthday girl." Kaldur assured, his gaze coming back up to your stormy gray eyes. You smiled at him. God he was so the 'big brother' of the group it was fucking ridiculous. (Except to Roy. He was less big brother more Call-me-daddy with Roy.)

You felt someone, someone warm close the gap that had formed behind you, pressing against your body a little to closely. You probably would have turned around and slapped whoever it was if you they hadn't spoken up.

"Don't worry, Kal." Someone slurred slightly as you felt a chin rest on you shoulder and arms wrap around your waist. "I'm already on that." Zatanna affirmed. Oh god was she drunk? (fucking lightweight.) Kaldur raised his eyebrows in surprise, glancing between your face and Zatanna's.

"I see. Well then, I will leave you two to...dance." He gave you a small smile before disappearing into the crowd of drunken superheros and civilians. (You're pretty sure there were a few villians here too, but whatever.)

Zatanna relinquished your waist and let you turn around only to press herself up against you. The entourage of sweaty guys really interested in grinding on the both of you returned and the two of you were enclosed in a circle of half formed drunken pick up lines and sexual frustration. (you felt oddly at home.) You must have looked fairly surprised as you and Zantanna got back into the groove of dancing, or rather grinding on each other now. She didn't even give any sort of explanation, she just smirked and said (or more accurately slurred out) "Just go with it."


	2. The morning after.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is semi-based off of my own experiences and posts from the Texts from Young Justice Tumblr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Zatanna's point of view.

One thing echoed through your aching head, (other than ow.) when you woke up with Artemis, Kaldur and Wolf on the couch of The Cave: "I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore." you mumbled.

You were pretty glad none of your fellow heroes sprawled around you were awake because that came out a little weird. You rubbed your head, trying to remember how you all ended up there and if the fact that that was the first thing to come to your mind had anything to do with Kaldur being half naked or Artemis's lipgloss being in your hand.

And okay, who french braided Wolf's fur?

It wasn't you. Okay, it might have been you. Ok, It was probably you...

You turned your head toward a sleeping Artemis, who was snoring softly against your shoulder. You smiled lightly. She looked really peaceful. All tanned skin and blonde hair, but no scowl distorting her pretty features. Judging from her lap full of nail polish bottles and Kaldur's multi-colored toe nails, things had crossed the line of hammered to shitfaced-Ke$ha-style-die-young-bullshit sometime last night. You tried to jog your mind and remember what happened but the only thing that you could remember clearly after dancing with Artemis at her party was Wally suggesting a naked taco night in the briefing room of The Cave.

God, you hoped that hadn't happened. Where was M'gann when you needed someone to restore your memory?

"Nekawa." You whispered to the a golden haired archer next to you. Her eyelids slowly opened, revealing groggy looking stormy grey eyes. You weren't left with much time to enjoy them before she snapped them shut a long, pained groan slipped past her lips.

"Fuuuuuucccckkkk." She grumbled, pulling her hands out from under Kaldur's legs, (who was stretched across the entire couch and both of your laps.) She rubbed the bridge of her nose, her brow furrowing. "My hea---OH MY GOD ROY." Your eyes widened at her sudden outburst, leaning away from her a little. "WE KILLED ROY." You raised your dark eyebrows at her as she proceeded to take an acrobatic flip of the fucking handle.

"Eb mlac." You said, grabbing her hand and trying to keep her from implicating herself in any criminal activity that may or may not have happened. She stared at you, the wild glint in her eyes dying down a little as she leaned back against couch. She always had that look on her face when you used a spell on her. Like she wasn't sure if she was okay with you doing it or not. "I'm sure Roy is fine, Artemis." You reassured, even though, hell you could have been the one to slit Roy's throat and your probably wouldn't remember. You were that hammered.

"Why....are you all....yelling?" A raspy whisper from the kitchen behind you startled both you and Artemis into almost knocking a sleeping Kaldur off the couch and onto Wolf. You twisted your body around to see who the pissy voice came from, and low and behold, it was Dick Grayson....in a Superman Onesie. You wonder how Conner was going to feel about that. Even when he noticed both of you staring at him, he wore that onesie. He wore it with pride as if he was the Man of Steel himself.

"Robin! Have yo---" You were cut off by him shooshing you, finger to his lips, waving his hand dismissively at you. "But Ro---" You were shhed again. You watched him as he rubbed his head and attempted to make coffee. You glanced at Artemis and had an unspoken conversation on whether or not to tell him that he had to put new coffee grounds into the machine. You both decided to let the boy wonder figure it out himself.

"It's quiet time, Zantanna." He mumbled, clearly nursing a hangover. "God dammit. Someone stole the Microwave." He hissed, slamming his mug on the counter. He winced at the loud sound, shoulders slumping as he rubbed his temples. 

"Dick, we killed Roy." Artemis blurted out from next to you. You squeezed her hand, muttering a spell in an attempt to keep her from getting you all arrested. Robin raised his eyebrows from behind his sunglasses, sipping at his watery 'coffee'.

"Roy? Roy Harper? Ginger guy, ye big." He waved his hand above his head. "That Roy?" Arty nodded, her eyebrows knitting together. Robin didn't seem to mind her concern and only responded with a laugh.

"Dick." You couldn't tell if Artemis was using that as an insult or actually addressing the disheveled, presumably hung over Boy Wonder. 

"Ask Kaldur about it, I'm sure he'll fill you in." Dick said, giving you both a knowing smirk before disappearing back to his room. You wondered where Wally was.

"Helpful as always." Artemis scowled, crossing her arms as you both turned back around simultaneously. You patted her shoulder, trying to be reassuring.

"What do you remember doing to Roy?" You asked the blonde beauty, noticing the bruise on her cheek bone for the first time this morning.

"Well, I remember dancing with you," Artemis began, gesturing with her hands. "And then getting a concussion...somehow." You assumed that that's probably where the bruise came from. "You trying to fix it....and then I remember tying Roy up with Kaldur and Wally and throwing him into the bay." You kind of wanted to laugh at her. As ridiculous as that all sounded, it actually sounded like something you'd all do.

"I...Remember dancing and then...more dancing...on a bar." You began, concentrating hard on recalling the blurry memories of last night that you didn't notice Kaldur stirring. "Trying to get you to stop cursing at a lamp and then you cried about not getting chicken and waffles served by Drag Queens at 2 AM." You rubbed in between your eyebrows, the dull throbbing ache in your head coming back with a vengeance.

"She shot the lamp with an Arrow." A deep voice added. You glanced up to Kaldur's face (Was he wearing mascara?) "And she was crying because I wouldn't make her chicken and waffles at 2AM." You looked at Artemis, eyebrows raised and a smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

She just nodded. "Yeah, Sounds about right. I'd probably do that."

"You also cried when we had to return the cat you stole from a family of rather confused civilians." Kaldur grunted as he pulled his legs off of your laps and sat up. You vaguely remembered trying to drunkenly console a sobbing Artemis as Kaldur gave the cat back to 'a family of rather confused civilians'. "You were convinced it was your sister."

Artemis squinted at him and you could only guess that she was trying to think of embarrassing things Kaldur had done last night.

"I'm just really surprised that we're all alive." Aqualad brushed glitter out of his short light blonde hair. Glitter. That...reminded you of something....You pushed your hips upward a bit as you retrieved your phone out of your back pocket. 

"Check your phones." You prompted the others. You tapped a 4 digit code into the screen of your phone as Artemis and Kaldur pulled their own phones out. The fact that you'd all managed to keep track of your phones, yet you'd lost/maybe killed Roy was hilarious. 

You opened your Gallery app and flipped through your photos. Just as you thought, there was a ridiculous amount of blurry selfies and photos of the weirdest things. It seemed you documented a majority of the night, which explained your dying battery. You searched for any pictures that might help you piece together the puzzle of what happened last night. You tried your hardest to skip over the pictures from the apparent game of spin the bottle that occurred but, seeing Wally French kiss Wolf was a little too hilarious not to enjoy a glance at. An eruption of laughter from next to you called your attention away from the photo and to Artemis's entertained face. You raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the giggling blonde.

"Look." She pointed to the glowing screen of her phone. You squinted at it, reading your name and then a chat you and Artemis had last night. 

Artemis: Where are you? There's fireworks going off and I can't find you. You're alive right?  
Zatanna: Roof top. Roy's shooting at Wally with Roman Candles.  
Artemis: Ah! I want to see.  
Zatanna: Well, ditch M'gann and Kaldur and get up here!  
Artemis: Don't tell me what to do, Witch Girl.  
Artemis: I'll be up there in a sec.  
Zatanna: <3333

30 minutes later.

Artemis: Lost you again. :c We're at the bay, bae.  
Zatanna: Yeah, yeah. Conner's ripping his shirt off, screaming "I'M VODKA MAN."  
Zatanna: We might have to spray him with a hose.  
Artemis: Wally is tying Roy up and Kaldur is dancing around like a gay fairy.  
Zatanna: Not surprised.  
Artemis: I think they're going to throw Roy into the bay. I think Robin's hitting on Wally.  
Zatanna: Still not surprised.  
Artemis: Yep, they are. It's happening. Both things. Should I be jealous?  
Zatanna: Mmm...  
Artemis: I wonder if I should do something. About the Roy thing.  
Zatanna: Mhm.  
Artemis: Roy is dating my sister so....Maybe not.  
Zatanna: Mm.  
Artemis: I really love these meaningful conversations we have, Z.  
Zatanna: Same. We'll be there soon, M'gann is trying to get Conner to stop jumping off things and talking about how he's invincible and 'Hardcore Parkour'.  
Artemis: Can't wait to see that and you.  
Artemis: Oh my god, they threw Roy into the bay.

You stared at the screen of her phone. (You thanked the Autocorrect gods for making that conversation literate. Without it your sure that it would have all been mistakes and lack of proper grammar.) That seemed to be the last message, though, or at least the last one she was showing you. Kaldur had been leaning over your shoulder, reading the texts with you and stifling chuckles. He finally cleared his throat and you both turned your gaze to him. He held up his own phone (a flip phone. What was this guy, an Anime Character?). There was a picture of a rather soggy Roy several feet off the ground. You looked back down at your own phone. That explained the picture of M'gann, eyes glowing and hands raised, at what looked like the docks that had somehow ended up your phone's wallpaper.

"We didn't kill Roy?" Artemis asked, resting her chin on your shoulder. You shifted slightly to accommodate her.

"It would appear not to be." Kaldur articulated. "That does beg the question of...."

"Where's Roy?" You all said in some creepy twins-from-The-Shining-style-unison.

Time for action. Within several minutes all of you had tracked down Kaldur's shirt, your top hat and Artemis's shoes on your way to the Zeta Tubes. You were still flipping through the pictures on your phone when Artemis slipped her arm around your shoulders, flipping idly through her own phone. You glanced up at her, noticing that bruise on her cheek again.

"How's your head feel?" You asked. She didn't take her eyes off of her phone as she just shrugged. You huffed. She wasn't very good at voicing feelings, even if they were 'are you in pain or nah?' sort of feelings.

"I'm fine, Zee." She assured, giving you a sideways glance and one of those sly smiles that always shut you up. "A little worried about Wally. We haven't even seen a sign of him." You couldn't help feel a pang of jealousy twinge in your chest. She was your best friend, not his! You tried to clear it from your mind, flipping through more blurry pictures of Kaldur giving you and Robin a piggy back ride and then---

"AHHHG." A bassy voice screamed from somewhere in the Cave. "WHO EVER DECIDED TO WRAP MY SHINS IN DUCT TAPE OWES ME NEW LEG HAIR." You looked around until you found the anguished face of Mal Duncan, M'gann's classmate. You shared a glance between you, Arty and Kal, you didn't need M'gann's mind link to know you were all on the same page. Brainwaves and shit. You were about to speak up and ask him how exactly he managed to find his way into what was suppose to be a secret hideout, but he said something before you could. "Have you guys seen that broody ginger archer guy?" he asked. "The one who duct taped green Megan to a street lamp?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens.


	3. Retracing your steps is hard to do when you were drunk and some of you can fly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaldur, Artemis and Zatanna try to piece together what happened last night and find their missing friends. But this mystery might be a little bigger than they were expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Kaldur's perspective this time around.

"We should split up."

"And lose each other too? I don't think so, Kal."

"Right. Right. Let's get comms up and then we can split up."

"Why's everyone so set on splitting up?"

"We'll cover more ground that way, Artemis."

"Who died and made you leader? Wait....nevermind."

"Nice, Arty."

"Shut up, Zatanna."

"Make me."

"Girls. Let's deal with the problem at hand."

"Right. Conner, M'gann, Roy, Wally and Red Tornado have been unaccounted for for at least 9 hours."

"I think we deactivated Red Tornado..."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Artemis pressed two fingers to her ear, hearing the affirming _beep_ that told her comms were online.

"Comms are up. Do you read me?" She reported.

"Loud and clear." A voice replied that you instantly recognized as Zatanna's.

"I read you." Your voice sounded very low in comparison to your comrades, you noticed idly.

"You were suppose to say 'aye aye, Captain'." Artemis teased. You smiled with a mix of exasperation and amusement, rolling your eyes as you made your way toward the bay.

You could hear vague snippets of a conversation Zatanna was having with someone. How she had already found a lead was beyond you. Maybe she was just being chatty.

"Who are you talking to, Zee?" Artemis asked the question on your mind.

"Yap noitnetta ot em. M'i gnitanicsaf. Llet em tahw uoy wonk tuoba eht neerg lrig dna reh sdneirf." Zatanna's voice came over the comm, echoing and odd sounding as she cast a spell.

"That's not an answerrr." Artemis drew out her words, her breathing coming over the comms. It sounded like she was jumping. Probably on the roof tops.

"Busy." Zatanna grunted quietly into the comms.

"Lame." Artemis replied. "Kaldur, find anything at the Bay?" 

"Season 1 of Reba and what I think are Wally's boxers." You reported. You picked neither of said items up and continued searching the bay for more (sanitary) clues.

"Yeah, he likes to show people how he can vibrate out of them when he's drunk." Artemis said, a grunt escaping her mouth. You assumed she had hit a roof and rolled.

"We're all well aware of that." Your voice sounded a bit amused.

"Mhm." Zatanna vocalized quietly in agreement.

"Hey, Zee." Artemis a grinding sound came over the comms with her voice, what sounded like her shoes sliding on a roof as she stopped. "Are you still talking to....who are you talking to?"

"Oh, that's interesting, Mr. Jones. You said he looked like Superman?" Zatanna said, obviously both to Artemis and 'Mr. Jones.'

"Mr. Jones? Is he hot?" Artemis pried, hardly focusing on her own part of the mission now. (Reason 1)

"Thank you for your help, Mr. Jones. Give everyone at the _old folks home_ my best." Zatanna enunciated, emphasizing 'old folks home.'

"Hey, if you have a thing for older men, I won't judge." You could feel the teasing tension rising. They'd really been at it all morning. (Reason 2)

"Focus." You chided softly as you searched the rest of the docks. You seriously needed a magnifying glass and a Sherlock Holmes hat and you'd be golden. Atlantian sleuthing extraordinaire. Kaldur'ahm at your service.

"Focused. Super focused." Artemis replied, the pitter patter of her feet resuming a slow walk told you she probably wasn't.

"That's a first." Zatanna taunted. "Mr. Jones said he'd seen 'A boy who looked like Superman' and a green girl laughing and running away from a ginger guy covered in sparkles."

"Wally or Roy?" The blonde rooftop jumper inquired. 

"I don't know. All he said was ginger and covered in sparkles." 

"Helpful."

"I don't see..er hear you coming up with any better leads." Zatanna grumbled.

"Literally just found a piece of Conner's shirt pinned to this water tower. So ha." Artemis reported the smirk in her voice very obvious. "With an arrow. Not mine though."

"I am fairly certain Roy wouldn't be able to kill Superboy even if he tried." You added, slightly worried what would happen to him if he did try. "Have either of you found M'gann. I'm worried about her 'being duct taped to a street lamp' as Mal told us."

"Hel-lo, Megan!" Artemis mimicked the missing hero. "I'm sure Conner and M'gann would be at least near each other. You find Conner, you find M'gann and visa versa. And probably more clues to where Roy is."

"Insightful." 

"Shut it, Zee." Zatanna was a lot more sarcastic when she was dealing with a hangover, you'd noticed, which only made for more comm spam that made you groan. (Reason 3) "I think I see another arrow up on the roof of a department store. The one that smells like old ladies." Artemis reported. "It's a long jump, so shhh. Got to get in the zone." you all could almost feel Zatanna roll her eyes. 

Artemis steadied her breathing, giving herself enough of a running start to get across the larger expanse between buildings. Honestly, she could just zipline across, but she was apparently doing things the hard way today. She took off running, hitting the very edge of the building and pushing herself into the air. A startled scream and then a ringing made both you and Zatanna wince. 

"Artemis?" You abandoned your search for any sort of clue or evidence and turned your attention completely to what was coming over the comms. You even turned toward the cityscape behind you, as if some how you'd be able to see Artemis.

"Artemis??" Zatanna's voice sounded at least 40x more worried than yours did, (Reason 4) you noted this on the long list of reason why you were pretty sure they made out last night. The silence over the comms was deafening. You could hear your heart pound in your ears. "Artemis? This isn't funny." Desperation and something a little beyond worry pushed its way into Zatanna's normally cool voice.

"Artemis, report." Your brow furrowed, your lips pressing together in anticipation. You heard sniffling, must have been Zatanna's, (reason 5) but no reply from Artemis.

"Oh god." Zatanna's voice sounded weak. The first time you could recall ever hearing her sound anything but determined or somewhat amused by Artemis's shenanigans. Your mind raced for plans, what you'd do if she didn't answer in the next few minutes, how'd you'd tell the other what happened when you found them, how'd you'd have to be the one to tell her mom, even how you'd help her plan the funeral. All of that was (thankfully) wiped out of you mind as the sound something brushing past a mic and muffled curse words that could only be---

"Artemis!" Zatanna's voice exploded in your ear, the amount of happiness and relief was almost deafening on its own.

"Huh? Yeah, sorry, almost fell off a building, dropped my comm." Artemis explained briefly.

"Ugh, you're so fucking irresponsible." Zatanna growled. You were surprised to hear anger in the magicians voice so suddenly (Reason 6). It was like she went from sad and worried to relieved and happy to really angry in 5 seconds flat.

"Jeeze, sorry, Zee, I'll tell gravity to stop almost killing me. Just for you." Artemis shot back. You wondered if she had heard Zatanna on the verge of sobbing just moments ago if she would have been a little softer on her.

"Fuck you. Be careful." Zatanna's voice was the oddest mix of concerned and angry, contrasting against how soft and coolheaded she normally sounded. (Reason 7)

"Are you okay, Artemis?" You cut in before the archer could growl some equally mixed statement back at Zatanna.

"Fine." She replied simply. "I found Conner, I think."

"You think?" You raised your eyebrows, despite the fact she couldn't see you.

"He's wrapped in toilet paper and still passed out." Artemis summarized. 

"Where are you? We'll all meet you there." You assumed Superboy was probably fine, but he may also remember what happened to the others. And like Artemis said 'Find Conner, Find M'gann. And visa versa.'

"Still on top of the department store. I'll try to wake him up." Artemis replied. "There's at least 6 empty bottles of vodka here. Can't that kill even a Kryptonian?"

"Let's hope not." You said as you made your way toward Artemis's location. Zatanna had been oddly quiet for the past few minutes. "Zatanna, Are you going to meet us there?"

"On my way." She answered simply. You wondered if she was still shaken up about Artemis (Reason 8) or if she had busied herself finding leads like you all had come out here to do.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You arrived on the roof top of 'Weavers department store' just as Artemis smacked Conner in what seemed to be an attempt to rouse him. Like she'd said, Superboy was wrapped in toilet paper like a mummy and surrounded by empty vodka bottles. Zatanna alighted on the same roof moments later, a glower already crinkling her brow and darkening her blue eyes. Artemis glanced up at both of you, her hand grasping Connor's shoulder, holding him up. 

"Maybe a spell would work better than me smacking him." She suggested, her attention focusing in on Zatanna. The sorceress crossed her arms over her white button up shirt and black blazer (always an interesting choice in costume, you thought.), eying the unconscious Kyrptonian, not meeting Artemis's gaze. 

"Ronnoc, nekawa." She said, Connor's eyes snapping open in reaction. 

Connor normally seemed like a confused wild animal, but more so at the moment, black hair disheveled and sparkly, (sparkly?), eye bewildered and covered in toilet paper. His hand shot up and grabbed Artemis's wrist, practically growling at her as he sat up. Artemis tried to pull away from his grip, only to have a disorientated Connor all but tackle her. 

"Ffo Kcab." Zatanna barked out a rather commanding sounding spell, her gloved hands rising and making a flicking motion at Connor. He was pushed backwards by some unseen force, leaving Artemis on her back wondering how that had even happened.

"Connor, calm down. Calm. Down." You said softly as you approached the blue eyed boy. He seemed to be riling down a bit as he recognized your faces.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I think I ate a roll of toilet paper last night." He said as Zatanna offered out a hand to Artemis. You glanced past Connor's toilet paper glad shoulder, watching Artemis take her hand and pull herself to her feet. They shared a quiet conversation (that you could hear thanks to your comm.) and a hug, Zatanna standing on her tippy toes so they were at equal heights (Reason 9). You looked away, back to Superboy's face. 

"We've been looking for you. And M'gann, Roy and Wally." You explained, watching him brush very familiar glitter out of his dark hair and peel toilet paper of off his body.

"...Uhhng." Connor rubbed his head, (Do Kryptonians get hangovers or was just not a morning person?) "Last I remember...M'gann was flying around....throwing glitter on Roy." He mumbled. "You were there. You ate a fish sandwich because Wally dared you to..."

The look of horror on your face caught everyone's attention. You were going to barf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I am just spreading this through as many chapters as I can, Apparently.


	4. Curiouser and Curiouser.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zatanna comes up with a plan, Artemis confronts (a lamp) and some demons while the boys do nothing useful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that  
> 1\. I'm drunk again.  
> 2\. This is from Artemis's point of view.  
> 3\. I'm not actually drunk, but I haven't slept in 28 hours so I might as well be.

You watched Kaldur's red clad body convulse as he dry heaved, leaning over the edge of the roof, probably worrying any passers-by below. 

"You just had to tell him, didn't you?" You looked at Conner accusingly who crossed his arms over his chest with his usual pouty tough guy face on, darkening his all-American-boy blue eyes.

"We clearly aren't getting anywhere trying to retrace our steps like this...without a map." Zatanna spoke up, a few paces behind you. She must have gotten over giving you the silent treatment for 'your stupid reckless decadence!'. (You held your tongue about how reckless she was on a daily, mainly because you liked having said tongue.) 

"Sounds like someone has a plan." You said, turning around to greet her with a smile. She didn't give you much more than an acknowledging glance as she walked right past you, a swish in her hips. Apparently she wasn't completely over it.

"Precisely." She said, flaring the coattails of her black blazer out as she took a seat on the gravely rooftop. You raised an interested eyebrow, but she didn't waste another glance at you. "I can try to use my powers to jog our memories. " She declared. You noted how Connor shifted uncomfortably, uncrossing and recrossing his arms. (Kaldur had finally stopped dry heaving, too.) "I don't like to mess with peoples minds too much, but I'm sure I can do it. Just to remember more of last night" Her cyan eyes sweeped across all of your faces. You probably looked the most willing, seeing as Kaldur looked like he was edging on Zombie-ism and Superboy was scowling in a way that had to hurt his face.

"...Artemis?" Zee's eyes finally met yours, an expectation in them, her elegant eyebrows raising at you. That. Was unfair. 

"As long as you don't leave me a vegetable, I guess I'm willing to let you work some witchy-voodoo-bullshit on my mind, Zee." You offered her another smile.

"Don't tempt me, Artemis." She said, but that smile curling the corners of her mouth told you she was back around your finger. 

You knelt down in front of her, slipping your quiver and bow off of your sore shoulders. She examined you for a few more moments before closing her eyes and putting her gloved hands on either side of your head. 

"Can you send me mind nudes?" You asked suddenly. The Magician just huffed and mumbled something about concentrating. "Sorry if that came off a little too Wally." You whispered, watching her mouth twitch a little.

There was a span of a few minutes of awkward silence where you tried to decide whether or not to keep your eyes opened as Zatanna recited incantations under her breath. You decided watching her concentrate was a little more enjoyable than watching the inside of your eyelids. You watched her well defined eyebrows twitch, knitting together for a few seconds before----

Everything went black.  
No Zatanna, no Kaldur, (that now that you think about it could probs use a bottle of water), no grumpy (maybe hungover) Conner Kent.  
Just black.

Before you can even worry that Zee did in fact turn you into a vegetable, you're dancing with Zatanna again....but you don't seem to have control of your body...everything seemed to have a dreamy haze to it. 

You can feel the boom of the bass, the sticky heat in the air, Zatanna's body grinding against yours, you can even smell the weird guy dancing next to you, (who insists that his sweat has a narcotic effect and you should lick him.) (you really hope you didn't lick him anytime through the night.)

"Focus, Artemis." You hear Zatanna's voice, echoing and odd, as if she was casting a spell. It wasn't coming from the wild haired, dreamy eyed, probs drunk Zatanna in front of you, but rather sounded like it was coming from a comm you'd forgotten you were wearing. You were pretty sure you'd taken your comm out. "Focus. Not on me. Focus on what happens next. What was the next major event?" Zee's voice persisted, sounding separate from all the sounds around you. 

You tried focusing, getting your barrings, focusing on what was flooding your sense currently. There was the familiar smell of vomit and alcohol mixed with a light sawdusty smell and...and lavender. Right. Lavender, that was the scent that wafted off of Zatanna whenever she walked past you or hugged you. Zatanna. Zatanna. Zatanna. She was pressing even closer to you, her hands coming up to rest on your shoulders as you danced, eyes slowly traveling up to yours and----

"Not on me!" Zatanna's voice commanded causing everything to slip back into blurry dreaminess. 

" _Ugh, Shoosh, things were just getting interesting!_ " You growled in your head, hoping that she'd hear it. Somehow. 

You started again, focusing. Focusing. Not on Zatanna. Not Zatanna. Anything but Zee. Focus on sounds. Sounds not coming from Zatanna. 

You heard that familiar bass pounding its way into your ears with the techno-no-we-didn't-steal-these-sound-effects-from-Starwars-beats accompanying it, assaulting your ear drums in a way that reminded you a little too much of getting that concussion last night. You'd rather not remember that part of your adventure at the moment, honestly.

You focused harder on the sounds, there was something. Something...breaking? You tried to visualize it. You felt anger swell in your chest. You couldn't figure why, but it burned. It made you want to clench your fists and scream. No. Calm. Focus.There was blurred, hazy flashes of memory. Like you were watching a movie being fast forwarded, but the screen was underwater. Or maybe you were underwater. Maybe both.

You tried hard to ignore hints of blue eyes peering at you, lavender sweeping past your nose, even sing-song laughter that twisted your heart into wanting to laugh along and smile for eternity. 

What was next to the bar? What was it? Focus. You heard something shattering. You felt the memory of the string of your bow against you fingers, as if it was actually happening again. And then the sound of an arrow singing through the air. And shattering. You felt the pride of hitting your mark warm your chest.

"The lamp." Zatanna guided helpfully. "What happened after the lamp?" she asked softly, clearly trying not to break your concentration.

" _Still waiting for those mind nudes._ " You murmured, and you weren't sure if you actually said it out loud. Like out loud out loud. You know, but you hoped she had heard you somehow and was now rolling her eyes.

You started feeling your vision on the flashback starting to slip, so you stopped being Wally and concentrated on....

"The lamp." Zatanna prompted softly again. You kind of felt like a child when she had to spell things out for you. 

Right, the lamp. You shot it. You could see its shattered ivory colored remains now. And your green and grey arrow embedded in the wall behind it. And then. Zatanna. Zatanna was prying the bow out of your fingers and scolding you, drunkenly scolding you. It was adorable. But then she was laughing....laughing and...laughing and....

"Focus on what happens next, Arty." Zatanna pressed. 

Right. Laughing. Cool. And then you...started arguing with Roy. Right! That anger was swelling in your chest again. That hatred for him that burned in the back of your skull. He was like your older step brother that you hated for being the biggest jackass ever.

He was eating waffles. Where did he get waffles? Waffles and chicken....That sounded familiar. The couch. This morning. Your mind skipped a track (or 4) and suddenly you were flashed into the not so distant past. You and Zee were sitting on the couch....And Zee was...was..leaning over. Right. Leaning over and....French Braiding Wolf's hair?

"Knew it." Zatanna commented quietly. 

You tried to think of what you were doing. You were....looking at a bottle of green nail polish? And Kaldur's feet were in your lap. Were you painting his nails? Yeah, thats right! You and Zee had....gotten back from wherever you two had been....and decided to do Kaldur's makeup. That explained the rosy tint of his cheeks and the darkness of his lashes. 

The next thing you could recall was...Wally. Wally, all ginger hair and freckles spread across his white skin like the stars across the sky. A drunk smile crinkled the corner of his eyes, making them twinkle a wonderful emerald. 

"Artemis, focus!" Zatanna's voice came out harsher than it had the last few times.

You lost the image of Wally for a few seconds before you were able to recall it again, Red hair, Freckles, green eyes, check.

...and who was with him? You could see big ears and sly smiles. And sunglasses. Sunglasses. Robin! Robin was with Wally. Why was Robin with Wally. That was never good. They were groaning? No, Singing and drunkenly stumbling through the kitchen. You could hear voices now. The tone deaf pitches of Wally and Robin singing. Then Wally telling all of you how much he loved you. 

" _Love you too, man._ " Echoed in your head. It wasn't your voice....It was Robin's? No, too deep. It was... god you couldn't tell.

" _Samesies._ " You heard another voice, closer to you this time. You half expected it to be Zatanna doing a gay Batman impression...but no. It was Kaldur. Doing a gay Kaldur 'impression'. 

A puff of glitter spread over Kaldur's head, sticking in his short almost white hair. Kald flinched away and yelled "Not cool,_______" You could see his lips continue to move, but it was like he was muted. Before you could give a whole lot of thought to it a spurt of glitter shot your way too. You swatted it out of the air, keeping it from getting to you. (You think it ended up on Zatanna and Wolf.)

" _Fuck off, Roy._ " You heard your own voice this time. And then his face came into view. Green eyes, a blaze of ginger hair, light skin, impossibly strong jaw. It was Roy. You felt a familiar burn creeping up the back of your neck.

" _Well now that we have her permission, Gentlemen._ " He linked arms with the other giggly boys and they skipped off like shitfaced Wizard of Oz characters.

_*_

"That explains that." You accepted, letting go of the images, the sounds, everything. "We just have to talk to Rob. That's probably where Wally is too." You enjoyed the blankness of your mind.

"Wait, Artemis, we still haven't found M'gann. There's something your suppressing. Let me see." You felt Zatanna's presence now, overbearing, in your mind rather than an omnipotent force. 

"We can find her...Outside of my mind." You insisted, trying to push her out. 

"What if she's hurt. Sooner the better, Artemis." Zatanna reasoned, pushing back against your will. It was making your head swim, and not in the good way at all. You could feel her gaining more control now. Mind tug-a-war is the worst game ever.

"Zatanna...!" You began to protest, but she was already trying to access your memories. You gave in reluctantly and decided to comply, opening your mind again. You tried to focus on M'gann.

'Green. Green and red.' you thought. 'Green skin, red hair, burnt orange eyes.....' you continued prompting yourself. You focused, trying to conjure up your friend's face.

Instead of being the smiling face of Miss Martian, it was a tall, strongly-built figure. He had no features at first, just an intimidating presence. Details slowly flooded into your head, assembling like a puzzle on the shadowy frame. 

Short blonde hair, deep brown eyes, white skin. You couldn't see the rest of his face though. Just his eyes and his eyebrows. He was yelling, his brow furrowing like a wild animal. He looked like he was snarling. 

"Artemis..." Zatanna's voice seemed confused.

" _Out._ " You barked lowly. " _Get. Out._ " you weren't even saying it to her solely. You were saying it to yourself. You had to get out. You had to find a way out. Suddenly, large fist were flying at you, the brown eyes staring you down like an angry bull. You narrowly avoided the fists, ducking and rolling and moving as fast as you could. You're limbs felt short, _you_ felt short. Your fists were too small, your feet weren't agile enough, you only had your Teddy Bear to protect you and it wasn't going to shield any of _his_ ruthless blows. 

" _Fight, Artemis. Fight or die._ " A low voice snarled at you as fists came at you faster. You felt hot tears spilling down your cheeks, dripping off your chin and onto your overalls as you tried to weave and bob out of the way of the blows. 

"Artemis?!" Zatanna's voice was louder now, worry lacing through each letter of your name.

"GET OUT." You demanded, and you were almost fairly certain you had said (screamed) that out loud, probably shocking Kaldur and Conner. 

"Evig simetra htgnerts." You heard Zatanna's spell, almost feeling it's meaning rather than understanding. Your body suddenly felt larger now, ready, and your hands easily blocked the onslaught of fists. Abruptly, There was feet and knees, the flash of a javelin, a pain in your side, more words. 

" _Come on, Baby girl. You can do better than that._ " His deep voiced words seemed to cut into you deeper than any of his weapons could. " _Daddy taught you better, didn't I? Do I need to discipline you again? You've become quite the errant little b---_ "

"Tel simetra og! Esaeler reh morf siht erutrot!" You head Zatanna's frantic voice, louder than it had been before. The image of your father, the fists and weapons melted away. Everything around you became a bright white light, consuming you.

You felt like you were floating in oblivion for hours, days even. The bruises on your skin had turned into flower petals, decorating every inch of your body, the blood seeping through your torn uniform became the softest red silk, wrapping around you, warming you. Your uniform itself became the disguise you had worn on the Haley's Circus mission

You watched a white rabbit, (something you're sure you would have missed if not for he curious waist coat.) run toward something in the distance. A dot of _something_ in the endless expanse of white. You walked only a few steps before suddenly you were at the foot of a large green hill. 

You wrapped yourself in the soft red fabric spilling from your body, climbing the grassy hill with a rhythm to you step. You avoided several rabbit holes as you ascended. When you finally reached the top of the hill, you were greeted by the most amazing sight you'd ever seen. 

There, laid out under a picturesk tree, was a gingham blanket, filled with an assortment of food items. Your eyes slowly traveled up to a large fist holding a knife...buttering a piece of toasted bread.

" _There's my Baby Girl!_ " A low voice came out so warm and soft that it felt like warm honey in your ears. A smile graced the strong jawed face of you dad. His brown eyes lit up in a way you'd always wanted to when he saw you, crows feet forming at the outer corners of them, making brown jewels twinkle. 

" _Artemis!_ " Your eyes traveled to the smiling face of your sister, her hair in a pony tail, strands falling around her face, framing it perfectly. " _Join us!_ " her grin spread from ear to ear as she watched you.

" _Where's mom?_ " you asked, still staring at this picture of perfect domestic heaven.

" _I'm right here, Honey!_ " You turned your head to see your mom _walking_ up the hill toward you.

" _Mom, You're...you're..._ " You vision blurred with tears. She smiled understandingly at you, taking your hands and squeezing them. 

" _Shhhh, Artemis. Come enjoy this nice picnic! _" Your mom pulled you toward the gingham heaven. "In celebration of my tenth year working at Wayne Tech!" She looked so happy.__

__This was everything you wanted. This is everything you'd ever wanted. Everything you could have asked for. Your dad was looking at you with so much love, wearing a suit and tie, even a Rolex! You noticed a King of Harts card tucked into the pocket on his broad chest._ _

__"I missed you so much while I was away at College, little sister!" Jade was smiling, (still so wide and brightly that it almost hurt to look at.) with what felt like promises of never leaving again._ _

__A light gust of wind brought the sweet scent of lavender past your nose, topping off the perfection of this moment._ _

__None of this seemed right. It was all wrong in fact. It seemed rather curious to be honest. But, You felt whole for once. You couldn't remember how you'd ended up here, or why it felt like you needed to return somewhere else, but you just didn't care. You couldn't. Not with all of the amazing things in front of you. You loved it here. This felt like where you'd been trying to get since....since you could remember._ _

__You smiled at your family, who seemed to be now pouring and enjoying tea together._ _

__A tap on your shoulder brought your attention away from your perfect, happy _normal_ family. You turned on your heels, a smile so sincere spreading across your lips that you didn't even realize you were smiling._ _

__The first thing you saw was a top hat, a small slip of paper labeled '1/2' tucked into the brim. The next were blue eyes and black hair that looked so stark and vivid against the white background surrounding you. Delicate dark eyebrows knit together with concern, soft looking pink lips turned downward into a frown._ _

__"Emoc kcab ot em." She whispered, one of her gloved hand lifting up to your face, stroking your cheek. You leaned into her touch reflexively, feeling the flowers on your skin start fade away, the smile on your face melting away. "I deen uoy. Esaelp emoc kcab ot em, Simetra. Uoy t'nac evael em oot." the beautiful girl in front of you pleaded, eyes brimming with tears._ _

__You dropped the scarlet velvet that had been covering your shoulders, letting it pool around your legs and feet. You suddenly felt how cold it was, like someone had just dunked you into freezing Arctic water. The flowers covering your skin had completely disappeared and the laughter of your family died away, seemingly carried off by the wind. You were suddenly sniffling, tears of your own creeping down your cheeks._ _

__"Emoc kcab ot em." Zatanna murmured, wrapping her arms around you as the white world around you shattered away._ _

__-*-_ _

__The next thing you knew, you were back on the roof, your fingers grasping onto Zatanna's shoulders, both of you sobbing and breathing unsteadily. Zatanna's hands were on your cheeks, your foreheads resting on each other, so close you could feel her breathing._ _

__You. Were. sooooo. emotionally exhausted. To say the least._ _

__You couldn't really help it as you hugged Zatanna (again? if you count that time that you were both in your mind. Uh.) all but tackling her, both of you tumbling to the ground, sobbing quietly together._ _

___*_  
You wondered what the boys thought of this little spectacle. You pretended not to notice as they exchanged money, Conner commenting that 'Hey, they might kiss. It could still happen.' under his breath to Kaldur._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how this happened. I'm sorry. I was reading Alice and Wonderland today so...whoops.


	5. Hel-lo Megan!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, lots more hungover teenaged Superhero bullshit (cold shoulders, feels, some icky amounts of PDA. (Supermartian PDA, Mind you) and near death experiences.) and Martian finding. 
> 
> #LittleYoungJusticeThings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Z's perspective again. (I'm consistent with my patterns, yo.)  
> (I will edit this in the morning, I am super tired, 'yo'.)

You'd never been more terrified in your life. You knew it was selfish to be so shaken up after that accidental adventure into the darker corners of Artemis's mind, but god damn. 

The worst part is, You weren't even scared that the memories of her father were trying to hurt her, or that she was going to come back out of it mad at you for pushing her into it, no, you were scared that she _wasn't_ going to come back out of it at all and you were going to be at fault for the demise of another person you loved. That you were going to lose someone again because of your recklessness. 

It took you and Artemis a few minutes to recover and recompose, which was mostly just the two of you reassuring each other that this wasn't just another construct of her mind and you casting calming spells onto both of you. You were unpleasantly surprised when Artemis wiped away the few tears that had trailed their way down her cheeks and put physical distance between both of you. You were even more unhappy when she turned away from you to address the boys. 

"Well now that that's over," Artemis's voice came out strangely steady. You raised your eyebrows, wishing she'd just look at you. Clue you in on how she was feeling. She couldn't just go through all that with you and then ignore you! "Roy's alive. I think him, Wally and Dick had some kind of bromantic sleepover." She was joking already?

You struggled with your own morality, really considering whispering a spell in her direction and getting her to do what you wanted but....Gosh, you just couldn't. Besides, you think she'd caught on to sensing when you did that.

"What about M'gann?" Conner asked, arms crossed over his bulky chest. 

"We....uh....Couldn't quite recover any memories after the Roy stuff." You cut in, your voice sounding like it was wobbling on shaky legs. You cursed Artemis for being able to stabilize her tone so much better than you could. And for her gaze only flickering to you for a few seconds. Her eyes didn't even meet yours, they just briefly landed on the bowtie at your throat before returning to Connor and Kaldur. 

"Yeah, So we should probably get looking for her before The League notices we're all scattered around and hung over like idiots." Artemis added, the boys nodding affirmations.

Superboy jumped off the edge of the roof, jarring you slightly before you remembered that he could just fucking do that. Damn Kryptonians. Kaldur followed suit, using his Water-Bearers to construct a flow of water off the roof that he casually descended on. Artemis picked up her bow and quiver, slinging the quiver over her shoulder. She still wasn't looking at you and it made you want to scream. 

"Artemis..." You began, containing your annoyance. She glanced at your shoes, but not you. She drew an arrow from her quiver, attaching a cable to the end of it. You stepped toward her, hoping maybe physical contact would open her up again. 

You were yet again unpleasantly surprised when she lifted her bow, arrow drawn and aimed at you chest. You froze, eyes widening as the blonde stared down the sight of her bow, her eyes holding a new intensity. You felt like she'd already shot you. You could see her arrow still only aimed, not buried in your flesh, but it _felt_ like it was already piercing your skin, drawing your blood,piercing your lungs. You stared into her eyes, trying to read the wild grey storm that brewed there. Trying to create a forecast in you head. _'Cloudy with a chance of being impaled.'_ You thought, your own humor lost on you as you tried to remember how to breathe.

Breathing didn't get any easier when she turned slightly, letting the arrow sing through the air and embed itself into the building behind you. She drew another arrow, attaching the other end of the cable to it and shooting it into the brick building across the street. You impulsively stepped forward and grabbed her wrist. (While she was unarmed.)

"Artemis." Your voice came out needy and demanding at the same time, finally getting her attention fully. Her eyes _finally_ met yours, her mask of cool detachment wavering. "We need to have words." You stepped just a bit closer to her, still at the edge of her personal space. 

"Later." She said, her free hand coming up to tuck a strand of gold behind her ear. "I promise." her tone softened slightly, and a new hope rose in your chest. You nodded, releasing her wrist. Your gaze stayed locked for a few more seconds before she turned and ziplined down to the pavement below.

"Sriats." You murmured, waving your gloved fingers at the edge of the roof. Glowing golden light formed a simple staircase, starting at the ledge that you were currently standing on, and all the way down to where your teammates stood.

Your feet carried you down half the flight before something...familiar breached the confines of your mind. 

" _Zatanna?_ " 

You almost fell off the magic constructed steps. 

_M'gann?_ Your feet stopped moving and you looked around, searching for any hint of green or red. She had to be somewhere close if she was in range to talk to you. Er....Mind-talk to you? Whatever.

" _Zatanna! I thought I felt your presence!_ " The excited tone of her voice was bringing back the pulsating hangover headache you'd finally kept at bay enough to hardly bother you. 

_Where are you, M'gann? We've been looking for you all morning!_ You thought...loudly?

"Zatanna, are you alright?" Kaldur shouted up to you, his Water-Bearers already in hand in case he needed to come (very big brotherly) save you. You just waved your hands at him dismissively, trying to sense where the Martians thoughts were coming from.

" _Behind them._ " 

You looked past Artemis, Kaldur and Connor, not seeing anything out of the ordinary other than duct tape wrapped loosely around a streetlight.

" _Streetlight. I'm...uh...taped to it. And...er I kind of need your help...._ " M'gann sounded oddly bashful. 

_Why are you cloaked?_ You put the puzzle pieces together in your head, still feeling like were missing a few chunks. 

" _Roy and Wally stole my clothes, okay?_ "

You almost choked on laughter.

"She's lost it." Conner commented to the your confused friends. 

" _It's not funny!_ " Megan's voice whined in your head. " _They dared me to go 'streaking' and then they stole my clothes, put tape over my mouth and taped me to this stupid thing._ "

 _Don't you have superstrength? Or couldn't you just shapeshift into something bigger and get out?_ You asked as you started walking down the glowing stairs again. Your friends were staring at you like you'd gone insane. You ignored their questioning glances as you approached the streetlamp. You were starting to see the wavering almost invisible outline of Miss Martian. 

" _I just woke up a few minutes ago...._ " She admitted quietly. 

You laughed again, probably confirming your friend's suspicions about your sanity. 

"Esaeler reh." You said, sliding your coat off of your shoulders, leaving you in a low cut yellow vest and a white button up shirt. The ductape fell limp like ribbons at the close to invisible feet of M'gann. You yelled it out for her, feeling her slide her arms into it. 

"Oh." Was the unanimous statement behind you as the rest of the Team came to help. 

"Ehtolc reh ni....Annataz eitoof samajap." You chuckled to yourself, taking inspiration from Robin's choice in garb the last time you'd seen him. 

Miss Martian appeared before you, ruffled red hair and flushed green cheeks, clutching onto your coat around her shoulders as if she hadn't notice those super stylish PJ's you'd hooked her up with.

"Nice PJ's, Megan." You commented, giving her a reassuring smile as you brought your hand up to take the duct tape of her mouth. "This is going to sting." You warned before ripping it off. All of you winced a little for her. It left a red tinted strip of skin across her face and you just couldn't help adding in another spell to help a friend. "Ekat eht gnits yawa."

Yes, Hello, Your name is Zatanna Zatara and you are a Spellaholic.

"Thank you." M'gann said, attempting to slip your coat off and return it, only to be bear hugged by a large blue eyed puppy. (It was Conner. He's basically a puppy. That why him and Wolf get on so well, its a real thing.) She giggled, being spun around in Connor's arms and the rest of you had to turn away as they shared sloppy kisses and argued over who missed who more. Apparently they missed the memo that 1. they weren't drunk anymore, dial it back on the spit sharing pls and 2. that amount of PDA should be illegal.

Kaldur was the first to awkwardly clear his throat, tearing the lover's attention away from each other and to the rest of you, left out of the bubble of happy greetings and so. much. fucking. PDA.

"We should return to the Cave and access the status of the rest of our Comrades." Aqualad said. You wondered if he was actually concerned or if he just wanted to chew (make) out (with) Roy. But there were no objection and you were all started on your way to the nearest Zeta-Tube location. 

"So, Can I get a pair of those hella Pajamas?" Artemis's voice came from behind you, her hand meeting with the small of your back. You turned your head to look at her, glad to see her already looking at you.

"Evig ot reh tahw ehs stseuqer." You said with a smile. You heard a flutter above you heads and another pair of black and white pjs, dotted with little cartoon yous, seemed to fall out of the sky, landing in Artemis's arms. 

"Dreams really do come true." Artemis joked, folding the PJs into a neat square and tucking it under her arm. You continued smiling at her, but something was still irking at the back of your mind. You judged the distance between you and the rest of the pack. You assumed there was enough space between you that whispers wouldn't be heard, but...just in case.

"Peek ruo noitasrevnoc etavirp." You murmured, waving a gloved hand in front of you. 

_Spellaholic's anonymous was calling your name._

Artemis raised her eyebrows at you, tilting her head slightly. With the sun just going down, (indicating that wow it was like 6 o clock), light kissed her golden hair, making it glow like the magical stairs dissipating into oblivion behind you. As perfect as the moment was, as sure as you were that you could just stare at her for eternity, until your body withered away and your bones turned to dust,(okay maybe not, that would get creepy and you both had things to do.) you had to shatter the moment. 

"Are you okay?" You asked, and the question had more meaning behind it than any other time you'd asked it. (And you asked her that at least 4 times after she walked in on Wally and Robin measuring _themselves_ in the bathroom once.) (You wondered if they whispered no homo while comparing sizes.)

"I'm fine." She said, turning her gaze away from yours and down to her feet. You hated when she shut you out. She never had a whole lot of reason to do it before, only when you started getting onto subject that made her uncomfortable, like her family, Wally's relationship with anyone that wasn't her, that not so long ago time when she had a crush on Superboy or her favourite character in Game of Throne dying. 

"Artemis....please." You were putting your foot in the door on this one though. You weren't going to let her push you away. 

"There isn't anything to talk about." You could see on her masked faced that she knew that wasn't true.

"Nothing to talk about?! I almost lost you, too!" You lost the coolness in your voice, so much so that Artemis's eyes flashed back to yours, a new light in them. "I...I mean...No that's what I mean. I almost lost you because I'm pushy and stupid and you didn't tell me...You didn't tell me about...." You lost the flow of your words, eyes snapping forward to the rest of your friends in front of you, oblivious to the soap opera style drama going down in the back of the bus. 

You couldn't think how to voice the rest of your thought correctly. Artemis stayed quiet for a few more seconds, probably thinking up a much more coherent statement to continue to shut you out with.

"I'm sorry." She murmured. 

Wait, did you hear that right?

"I'm really sorry..." She sniffed, not quite a full sniffled, but definitively edging closer to emotional-ness. You suddenly felt really guilty. It was her fault _you_ pushed her. She wasn't _obligated_ to spell out every detail of her past for you. Especially something like what you saw. You let out a huff of air, brushing a few strands of black hair out of your face.

"Me too." You said quietly. "I just....I was scared I was going to....cause you to disappear too....to leave me..." You kind of understood Artemis's aversion toward opening up. It was kind of uncomfortable, being vulnerable and _honest_. You were relieved to feel Artemis slip her hand into yours, seeming to say all the reassurements you needed with one action. 

"I'm right here, Zee. As clique as it sounds, You seriously can't get rid of me that easily." You both smiled, nudging each other purposely and laughing all the way to the Zeta-tubes.

You had a feeling _all_ of you were going to feel closer when you got back to The Cave. (You hoped the boys were still alive.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think after I finish this silly escapade of poorly written 'Morning after' fics, I'm going to write a semi-well written The-Team-Goes-On-Missions fic.


	6. Are you ready kids? Aye Aye Captain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Shenanigans continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Kaldur's point of view.

_'Miss Martian, B05'  
'Superboy, B04'  
'Aqualad, B02.'  
'Zatanna, B08'  
'Artemis, B07'_

"Uh oh. Dick, they're back." You heard the familiar tones of Wally West's voice before you saw his determined freckled face, a TV screen throwing shadows and highlights along his features. 

You weren't surprised to see him, Roy and Dick playing a rather aggressive game of _Immortal combat 5_ , camped out in front of the Flatscreen. Roy was only in his boxers and a white tanktop (classy as always) while Dick was sporting a rather spiffy pair of Superman footy PJs. (What is with the Footy PJ's today??) Wally hardly wearing anything at all, only in a pair of tight red and yellow boxer briefs. 

You would probably have been a little more affected by this sight if you hadn't seen all of them naked before. (No homo.) (A little homo for Roy.)

You averted your eyes to Roy, who was stuffing a bite of pizza into his mouth as he ferociously pressed buttons on the greasy looking controller in his hands. The TV flashed with action until 'K.O' printed itself across the screen. Roy and Wally groaned in unison.

"You cheated! I demand I rematch!" Wally whined, throwing his controller down. (Was that like throwing a gauntlet down or was he just being a fucking child?)

"Don't be a sore loser, Walls." Dick laughed, sipping at a grotesquely red colored Mountain Dew drink.

They continued to squabble and spar with each other, which eventually just turned into tough guy dry humping, much to your amusement.

You'd been so distracted by the spectacle of oddly domestic 'bromantic' downtime that you managed to be completely oblivious to the drama unfolding behind you.

"Conner, please calm down." M'gann's eyes were glowing white, contrasting against her freckled green cheeks and long, messy red hair (still highlighted with sparkles) when you turned around. Her hands were raised in front of her, lifting an angry Conner in the air. 

Zatanna and Artemis were being super helpful, standing a few feet away, arm in arm, giggling and gossiping idly.

"I'm going to kick their asses!" The Kryptonian growled, trying to run toward them, only succeeding in tipping himself upside down in M'gann's telekinetic hold.

You let out a dramatic sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose between your thumb and finger. The half-naked boys finally turned their attentions away from the each other and the cash of food spread across the coffee table in front of them and to the rest of you.

"Oh hey, M'gann. Hot PJ's." Wally commented, smirking at the Martian. M'gann didn't seem phased, her red eyebrows only twitching together for a few seconds.

Somehow Wally always knew exactly what to say to piss off everyone in the room. 

You could see Zatanna shift uncomfortably, probably not sure whether he was hitting on her or M'gann (or both). Artemis crossed her arms over her chest, letting out an annoyed huff of air that made a strand of her blonde hair fall into her face. You weren't entirely sure if she was pissed because Wally was flirting with anyone who wasn't her or because he was possibly flirting with Zatanna. (Not to mention, M'gann and her were basically siblings at this point, it was a bit weird.)

Conner was probably the most pissed of all of them, trying even harder to break free from M'gann's hold, fists swinging in the air uselessly, growling like a wild animal. Wally had basically poked the bear with a stick with that comment. 

"Wally, Shut the fuck up." Robin growled under his breath, elbowing the Speedster in the ribs. You could tell he was still entertained by the reactions of his teammates, but he probably didn't want to clean up after an angry Superboy chasing Ginge-saurus-douche around The Cave.

You could hear Artemis and Zatanna starting to chat again, this time a little quieter. Conner on the other hand only got louder, demanding that M'gann put him down. 

"Enough, Conner!" You growled, stepping right in front of him, just barely out of the range of his fists. "M'gann is fine. Everyone is fine. There is no need to get violent, okay?" You tried to refrain giving him any direct orders, (he tended to rebel savagely against those.) Conner stared at you, eyes narrowing for a few moments, as if he was deciding whether or not it was really worth going against you just to kick Wally's ass. Eventually he nodded, dropping his fists. His perpetual frown returned to his face as M'gann slowly lowered him back to the ground.

"Well, as fun as that was to watch, Zee and I are going to go change into our Civis." Artemis said as her and Zatanna started casually walking in the direction of Zatanna's room. You raised your eyebrows at them but didn't say anything about Zatanna's ability to switch clothes with a few backward words. 

"So, how has your day been?" Robin asked, smirking like the little shit he was.

"You could have told us you knew where Wally and Roy were, Dick." You said, your voice coming out a little growlier than you meant it to.

"Where would the fun in that be?" He raised his eyebrows from behind his cracked sunglasses. (Must've been broken last night.) (Or during rough buttsex this morning.)

"Not wasting our time on a wild goose chase for your own amusement." You crossed your arms, giving him your best disapproving big brother look.

"It wasn't a wild goose chase! You found M'gann." Roy reasoned, sitting on the other side of Robin on the crumb covered couch.

"I'm pretty sure Artemis almost died trying to find _you_ , Roy." You stared him down, giving him your best disapproving best (fuck)buddy look.

"Pretty sure?" Wally peered over Roy's messy ginger haired head. "What happened?"

You glanced over in the direction that Zee and Artemis had gone and then at Conner, noting his possessive arm around M'gann's shoulder. The blue eyed boy just shook his head slightly. He was oddly intune with what you were thinking. 

"Not sure." You said, and technically, that was true. You weren't entirely sure what had happened. 

From yours and Conner's perspective, Artemis and Zatanna just sat down on that roof, Zatanna touched the side of Artemis's head and then they just stopped talking for a good 30 minutes. 

Occasional comments would slip out of their mouths, Zatanna prompting Artemis to focus (but not on her.), Artemis whining about 'mind nudes' and then they were (sort of?) yelling at each other. Artemis insisting that she had to get out and Zatanna being really confused. 

It got really creepy when Artemis kept muttering "Curiouser and Curiouser..." 

Around the time that they started holding onto each other, bringing their heads together, you and Conner were taking bets on whether or not they would end up making out. You lost 20 dollars because of their bashfulness. gdi.

You decided you'd ought to call a team meeting. This was leaving you all almost a scattered as that time M'gann accidentally hijacked the simulation and made you all think it was the end of the world.

"We need to have a Team Meeting...make sure we didn't duct tape anyone else to anything." You shot a glare at Roy. "I'll go get the girls." 

And with that, you walked past Conner and M'gann, sharing a knowing glance at the dark haired Kryptonian and going deeper into the Cave. 

You remembered vaguely how to get to Zatanna's room. You were fairly sure it was near M'gann's. You followed your instincts, and luckily ended up in front of the magicians door. 

You raised a hand to knock, only to have it stop just before hitting the door. A little eaves-dropping couldn't hurt right? I mean, It's what a big brother does.

You brought your ear closer to the door, listening for sounds. The first thing you heard was the high pitched creak of bed springs....but that could be anything right? You heard a few spurts of heavy breath and then...

"Hhhh, Artemis!"

You took 4 whole steps away from the door. 

You are never eaves-dropping again.

This is worse than that time you walked in on Wally filming himself flexing....naked.

Okay no, it wasn't.

You still have trouble looking Wally in the eye.

But you still...You still have to call this Team Meeting.

Suck it up, Kaldur. 

You stepped forward again and hesitantly brought your fist back up to the door. You took in a breath and knocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not quite the last chapter.


	7. Genetically altered dog slobber and creaky bed springs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Whispers 'siiikkkeee' as I write this chapter.*

_'Miss Martian, B05'  
'Superboy, B04'  
'Aqualad, B02.'  
'Zatanna, B08'  
'Artemis, B07'_

You walked into the Cave last, just barely a few strides behind Zatanna.

"Uh oh. Dick, they're back." A familiar voice said. Zatanna stopped walking, right in front of you suddenly. You had to step to the side slightly to avoid running into her. Your eyes came away from her _coattails_ and to where the boys had made camp. Bags of chips, boxes of candy and soda cans laid decimated all over the living room. In the epicenter, half naked boys tapped buttons savagely, staring at the screen of the TV with a thirst for blood gleaming in their eyes. 

You stared at Wally's exposed body, a bit caught off guard by the tone of his muscles being exposed. (You'd seen him naked before. Honestly, you don't think anyone on The Team hadn't.) A sharp blow to your ribs brought your attention back to Zatanna. You raised your eyebrows, rubbing the spot she'd elbowed. She just rolled her eyes at you. 

Conner was fuming, you could practically feel the anger coming off of him in waves. His fists were clenched and his eyebrows were furrowing in a way that seriously had to hurt him. M'gann seemed to sense it to, squeezing his hand and whispering something you couldn't hear to him.

"I think Conner's going to blow a fuse if he doesn't punch something soon." You whispered to Zatanna. A glance your way told you that Superboy's super hearing was still working well. Good to know.

Your eyed Roy, who was devouring a pizza, like literally practically deep throating it. What the hell. The TV the boys were staring at flashed with action until 'K.O' printed itself across the screen. Roy and Wally groaned in unison.

"You cheated! I demand I rematch!" Wally whined, throwing his controller down. (Was that like throwing a gauntlet down or was he just being a fucking dweeb?)

"Don't be a sore loser, Walls." You heard Dick say, but your attention was back on Conner, who popped his knuckles and started angry-guy-walking toward the camp of heathens. 

"Looks like he's gonna punch something instead." Zatanna smiled, looping her arm around yours as she watched the drama unfold. 

"You aren't going to stop him?" You raised your eyebrows at her, despite the fact her attention wasn't on you.

"No. It's not really my place, is it?" Okay, since when has Zee ever cared about where her 'place' was. She was being sketchy and you couldn't quite pin point why. "Are _you_ going to stop him?" she asked as both of you watch M'gann's eyes start to glow, her hands coming up, taking Conner's feet off the ground.

"I think M'gann's got it." She commented. You both laughed quietly. 

"I'm going to kick their asses!" Conner yelled, trying in vain to get closer to the super-dorks in the living room.

You heard Kaldur let out a very Big-Brother-Is-Disappointed-And-Tired sounding sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger. Wally and the others actually started paying attention to all of you rather than grumbling at each other and 'tough-guy dry humping', (threats from Kryptonians tend to be attention grabbers.) Wally didn't look phased, actually. The sly smirk pulling at his feature told you something bad was about to come out of his mouth.

"Oh hey, M'gann. Hot PJ's." Wally commented, giving her his best seductive face.

Somehow Wally always knew exactly what to say to piss off everyone in the room.

Zatanna shifted uncomfortably next to you, shifting her weight from one leg to the other, bringing herself a little closer to you. You weren't sure if Wally was trying to flirt with her or M'gann. Knowing him, probably both.

You crossed your arms over your chest, letting out an annoyed huff of air that made a strand of your blonde hair fall into your face. You didn't bother tucking it behind your ear, it gave you that 'I'm-pissed-and-slightly-disheveled-so-fuck-you-man look. It was like he was hitting on your best friend and sister at the same time, which made your stomach twist with an odd sort of angry sadness. You made sure to send heated glares his way.

Conner was a lot less bottled up than you, his fist swinging in the air uselessly, trying to somehow get his hands on the gingers and Boy Wonder. You knew if he had heat vision like his dad/gene donor, Wally, Roy and Rob would be piles of dust at this point. (And so would half The Cave.)

"Wally, Shut the fuck up." Robin growled under his breath, elbowing Ginge-saurus-douche in the ribs. You could tell Robin was getting his kicks from this, but he probably didn't want the asshole punched out of his best friend.

"Want to go hang out in my room and wait for the drama to blow over?" Zatanna whispered, glancing up at you. How exactly could you say no to eyes as blue as hers? (Hint:You can't.) You nodded, not really even wanting to say no. You could watch Conner freak out on Wally any day, it really was a common occurrence. 

"Enough, Conner!" You watched your 'fearless leader' step right in front of the angry alien. "M'gann is fine. Everyone is fine. There is no need to get violent, okay?" You and Zee watched Kaldur and Conner stare at each other for a few moments, Kaldur's arms crossed over his body with 'I am Alpha, here.' printed all over his face. After some tough guy squinting, Conner yielded, nodding and dropping his fists down to his sides. That frown of his returned to distort his handsome features as his feet came back to the ground. 

"Well, as fun as that was to watch, Zee and I are going to go change into our Civis." You said, grabbing Zantanna's arms. You, honestly, really didn't want to see Conner and M'gann make out more. You pulled Z in the direction (you think.) of her room, ignoring Kaldur's sassy eyebrow raise. (Dude had some seriously sassy eyebrows, especially with specks of glitter still caught in them.)

"Everyone knows I can use a spell to change our clothes, Arty." Zatanna said, resting her hand on you arm as you trudged down a dark hallway. You shrugged, trying to remember how exactly to get to her room. There really should be signs in this place. 'Go this way to get to the kitchen.' 'Go this way to get to Zee's room' 'Don't go this way, Wally and Roy are having a half naked burrito eating contest.'

"Whatever, where would the fun in leaving them with no question of what we're _actually_ doing be?" You said, relieved when you saw the tell-tale signs of M'gann's room (The signs being an actual sign with M'gann's name on it with a bunch of stickers all over it.) Zee's room was right next to it. 

"Wait...." Zee started, and you could hear the confusion in her voice. You try, you really do try not to sound suggestive 24/7 but it's a tough task.

"Calm down, not what I meant." You said, pushing the door of her room open. 

You stepped out of her way as your eyes scanned around her bedroom, totally not scoping out the place for her diary. It was pretty much what you expected. Top hats, bow ties and show props everywhere. Her vanity was one that you'd expect to find backstage of a Broadway show. You know, one of those mirrors with light bulbs lining it. There were pictures of her and Zatara everywhere. In frames, tucked into the edge of her mirror. Even on the stand next to her bed. 

You felt a pang of guilt. You knew she missed her dad like crazy, and seeing his body puppeteered around by some omnipotent god of fate or some bullshit like that was probably awful. If you hadn't felt like the worst person enough for almost getting trapped in your mind and 'leaving her too', you sure did now.

Along with the framed picture, there was a large dusty book on her bedside table. You assumed it's yellowing pages were filled with witchy bullshit that would probably hurt your head to think about. Her bed itself was just like M'gann's except her blankets were different, looking exceptionally warmer than the neighboring Martian's. There was a large fluffy white animal on top of her blankets and pillows. There was also a ch----Wait.

You turned around to see Zee closing her door and glancing up at you. 

"What?" She raised her eyebrows. You stepped to the side and pointed at her bed.

"Does Wolf normally sleep in here?" You asked. You imagined it would be really hard trying to sleep if a huge drug enhanced wolf came in and took up practically the entire bed. She looked past your shoulder, her dark eyebrows knitting together. 

"No, Not usually. I've never actually seen him in here before." She stepped passed you and toward the sleeping animal. "Wolf." Her tone grew sweet and her words drew themselves out. 'Sounds like honey.' you thought as she knelt down next to the hulk of a dog. "Wake up, buddy." 

Wolf's eyes opened and his ears flicked around on top of his head like satellite dishes. He growled lowly, jumping up to his feet....er paws? The bed creaked under his weight. You bow slid off your shoulder and into your hand. 

His huge fluffy white tail wagged, and you were sure if you got hit with it, it would be like being hit with a Baseball bat. When he rubbed his head against Zatanna, you calmed down a little. Maybe he wasn't going to eat her. Cool.

"Hi, Wolf! Conner's back, why don't you go hang out with him!" She smiled at the beast, not afraid to bring her hands up to the sides of his massive face and lace her fingers into his fur. "Yeah? You wanna go hang out with Conner? I know you do! Come on, Buddy." Her tone was getting that excitement in it that people used to persuade animals and children. And Wally. 

Wolf's tail wagged faster and faster as he jumped excitedly on Zee's bed, the springs creaking louder in annoyance. He barked as he leaned his front half down, his backside waving around in the air. You raised your eyebrows. That didn't look like leaving behavior. Zee didn't seem phased. She just patted her thighs, saying "Come on, Wolf. Come on!", bright blue eyes twinkling, her lips spread in a smile still.

Your fingers moved fast, grabbing an arrow out of your quiver and sliding it into your bow in the split second Wolf's massive body had launched forward, tackling Zee's slender frame to the floor. All you could see was his teeth being that much closer to her delicate throat, which made your skin crawl uncomfortably. 

You jumped up onto Zatanna's bed, bow drawn and aimed right at the back of Wolf's head. The springs creaked irritably under your feet, making Wolf turn his head toward you. His fluffy tail stopped wagging and he bared his fangs, white eye meeting yours. 

"Hhhhh. Artemis!" Zatanna waved her hand at you, breathless from being fucking body slammed by a huge demon dog. "Back off, he's just being playful." She assured you. You stared at Wolf, his eyes boring into yours. 

You wonder if this was kind of like what you'd witnessed Kal and Conner doing. You both daring each other to attack the other or yield. You sighed, yielding and lowering your bow. You weren't going to risk Zee's life for your own pride. You slid the arrow back into its place in your quiver, taking it off of your shoulders and dropping both it and your bow onto Zee's bed.

You stepped off of the creaking mattress, inching past Wolf, who had turned his attention back to Zatanna, his tail resuming it's wind generating wagging. You crossed your arms, looking down at the raven haired girl on the ground, a small smile pulling at your lips. 

"Detcartsid eht god dna Simetra." Zatanna blurted out, trying to wiggle out from under the white beast. There was a comical poof of smoke and suddenly Wolf was fitted with a smashing pair of green you-themed PJs. (What was with Zee and footy PJ's today?)

"Need help, Zee?" You asked with a smirk as a well dressed Wolf slid his huge tongue up the side of Zatanna's structured face, not phased by his new fashion choice. 

"What, me? Noooo. Genetically altered dog slobber is really good for your skin, don't you know?" She said sarcastically, flinching away from Wolf's second assault on her face. You let out a laugh, patting Wolf's side. He'd gotten further with her than anyone else on the team at this point. 

A knock at the door startled both of you, (odd seeing as there was a huge fucking dog with his teeth very close to Z's face right now.)

"One second!" You yelled as you and Zee shared a glance. "You sure you don't need help?" You raised your eyebrows at the struggling Magician on the floor, her hair spread out beneath her head dramatically. It was actually a really pretty sight. She looked like she was underwater, sort of.

"Shhh, I've got this." Zatanna was clearly trying to concentrate on a spell, pushing Wolf's face away from hers. "Uhhh." You stood there, eyebrows raised and a smirk still pulling at your features. "Tropsnart Flow ot Rennoc." She blurted out desperately.

You'd seen Zatanna do some pretty impressive things, pull rabbit out of just about everything, fight bad guys twice her size, even spend more than an hour in a room with Wally, but making Wolf disappear like he was one of her cute white rabbits was very very impressive. 

Zatanna was left laying on the floor, hands dropping down to her sides from above her face. 

"Great job, Witch Girl." You offered out a hand to her. "You never fail to impress me." You gave her a smirk as she took your hand, hoisting herself back up to her feet.

"Do I really have to try, though?" She shot back, returning the smile. God, you'd pay for her to smile at you. It was great. Her smiles weren't exactly rare, but when they were aimed at you, it was like the world slowed down a little.

"Not really. You had me the first time you pulled a rabbit out of Wally's pants. (That was a funny story that seriously was never going to get old.)

Another knock at the door brought you both out of your sweethearted bantering. 

"Coming!" Zee piped up, her attention brought away from you for a moment. "Oh, Almost forgot!" She said as her cyan eyes met yours once again.

You watched her bring two white gloves up into the air, twisting them as she said "Elbisnes nailivic gnihtolc, won esaelp." A cloud of swirling white smoke weaved its way around your bodies and suddenly the tightness of your uniform was replaced by the light unrestricted feel of a low cut cotton shirt and (still kind of restrictive but whatever) dark grey skinny jeans. 

Zatanna smirked, dropping her hands, shifting her weight and putting her hand on her jutted out hip. Her more formal clothing had turned into a red tank top and black pants, contrasting against each other and her skin attractively. You clapped sarcastically, rolling your eyes a little at her.

"Yeah yeah, you're magic, it's great. Let's go." You tried to sound unenthusiastic, but your smile gave a happy inflection to your words. You opened the door of Zee's room, Zatanna in tow behind you. 

Just across the hallway, Kaldur was pacing, his face distorted like he was in pain. The light from Zatanna's room casting his bulky shadow onto the wall behind him.

"Heeeey, Kaldur...?" Zatanna said from behind you. Kaldur looked startled and then embarrassed. What's his deal? He can blush?

"Er....Hello...We're...uhm I called a Team Meeting if you'd....like to...come." Okay, that was weird. You've never heard Kaldur sound that unsure...ever!

"Kal....Are you doing alright? Did Roy show you the tattoo on his thigh again?" You asked, causing the Atlantian to sputter slightly.

"No! I just...er...just come to the meeting...please." He said before turning and all but running down the low lit hallway. You and Zatanna looked at each other, the question in your eyes synchronizing. 

"Lets...just go." You offered and Zee nodded, following you out of her room and into the hallway. Zatanna pulled the door closed behind her, throwing you both into the dim lighting of the hall.

"Itna-Revognah stnim." Zee held out her hand, (you were surprised for a moment to see it with out her gloves on.) and an odd package of Tic Tacs appeared in her hand.

"You're going to tire yourself out with all these spells, babe." You commented, glancing at the label on the front. "Anti-Hangover? Is that a real thing?" You assumed being jolted by that huge dog had brought back the ache in her head.

"It is now." She grinned at you, pouring a few into her hand and then offer a few to you. You held out your hand, taking the small teal pill shaped mints in your palm. You looked at Zatanna for a moment before you both shrugged and put them into your mouths. They tasted like minty regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk, guys, like 1 more chapter or so after this.


	8. Flashbacks, Nice racks and Tic Tacs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The puzzle pieces finally collide together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Zee's perspective.

After a bit (a lot) of cleaning up, you and The Team were all relaxing in the living room. You and Artemis had claimed one side of the large couch while Conner and M'gann occupied the other end. Kaldur was sexual tension Sweden, in between all of you in the middle of the couch. 

Across the coffee table from him, Roy sat cross legged, examining the tips of his arrows. Wally and Dick were on their knees in front of a brown arm chair, looking at the glowing blue screen Dick was tapping at. You'd all turned the Sim cards of your phones over to Robin who was 'compiling a collage of what happened last night.'

He tapped away at the transparent screen in front of him, that determined smirk pulling one corner of his mouth up. You struggled not to smile at the Boy Wonder and his big ears and passion for anything techy. He was really cute when he got that in the nerdy zone, adding files to files and making them into something impressive, no doubt. You were brought back to reality by a hand coming down on your thigh with surprising force.

"SO, Rob, How's it going with that 'collage'?" Artemis asked as you winced in pain. You glanced up at her, eyebrows knitting together, but she wasn't meeting your gaze, too focused on raising her own eyebrows at Dick. You had started catching onto what got her riled and what got her passive aggressive, and Robin and you and anything to do with Wally and anyone else that wasn't her were a few of the things that made her leave bruises on your ribs and hand prints on your thighs. And not in the good way!

Yet she still got annoyed when you'd roll your eyes and cast spells to make her stop talking about Wally or ranting about Roy. Hypocritical much.

"I'm almost done." Dick replied, his fingers continued tapping. "Just a few more things to complete the timeline and then we'll have the Boy Wonder equivalent of a Home Movie documenting last night." He looked right at you and winked.

"Great!" You're pretty sure you were the only one able to hear the sarcastic inflection in her voice. Robin glanced at her and then back down to his little project.

You juggled the odd flavoured mints, that you'd conjured earlier, around in your mouth. They were taking the sharper pain from your head (not your thigh tho.), but the twist that seemed to have been in your stomach since this morning, and the pulsating, duller ache in the back of your skull were still there. You tried not to think about it, it made them less of a nuisance. 

Your eyed Artemis's hand, still on your thigh. It didn't feel possessive, but sort of did at the same time? And it stung. Or at least the (what your sure was probably a glowing red) skin underneath did. Don't be fooled by how skinny Artemis looks, she sure does pack a punch. Your eyes traveled up from her hand to the scrape on her forearm. You assumed she got it when she almost fell off that roof earlier in the day. Reckless. Your eyes followed the gentle curve of her arm to the slope of her neck and upward along her jaw line. Just under her eye, the bruise that you were all pretty sure she got from table dancing last night was still discoloring her cheekbone. It looked like a dark purple flower petal tucked just under her tanned skin. You felt the impulse to whisper a spell to heal them

Her dark grey eye flickered over to you, her eyebrows raising when she noticed you staring. _'Spelloholics Anonymous, here I come.'_ You thought as you tried to think of the correct incantation.

"Sesiurb dna separcs, laeh dna nehtgnerts." You said under your breath. Artemis's eyebrows raised even higher on her forehead. You were fairly sure now that she could totally tell when you cast a spell on her.

The scrape on her forearm shrunk and then disappeared completely, leaving a seemingly untouched patch of skin. The bruise on her face changed a few dozen colors before fading away and leaving a slight blush on her cheeks. 

Artemis turned her head fully toward you, eyebrows now in a position that told you she was going to give you snarky best friend advice.

"Seriously, Zee, you're going wear yourself out. Those injuries would have been gone by tomorrow afternoon." She said, leaning toward you slightly so everyone didn't have to hear your conversation. "Settle down, okay? You're making me feel bad for not being able to cool tricks for you." She smiled and tilted her head, there was pretty much no way you could appose her. Not that you felt the need to.

"Yeah, okay." Your eyes met with hers for a few moments before the sounds of Roy and Wally bickering brought you both back to the group discussion going on.

"I just want to see it!" Wally whined, Roy's hand pressed against his face, holding him back as he tried to reach for the arrow in the archer's other hand.

"No, Speed freak, you aren't touching my arrows. Some how you'll set them all off and end up killing someone." Roy said, shoving Wally's head away.

"Okay, Done." Robin announced, cutting into the two ginger boy's fighting.

You and Artemis glanced at each other again, having one of those 'yeah we're totally on the same page.' moments again. You were excited to see what happened, but you also were afraid of what _drunk you_ might have done last night. And with who. (You really hope nothing happened with the guy who kept saying his sweat was a narcotic and 'I never forget a tongue, girl.')

"You guys ready for the 9 hours of liver killing, mistake making fun we all seem to have forgotten most of?" Dick asked dramatically, all of you nodded with a few verbal affirmations from some of you. 

"Sthgil ffo." You said as Robin made the holographic screen bigger. The lights flashed off and the only light came off of the screen, throwing highlights and shadows on all of your faces. 

You instantly regretted not getting up and turning the lights off like a normal person when Artemis gave you a _look_. You appreciated her concern, but you knew your limits, and a few bruises and a light switch wasn't going to kill you. Although Conner was still sending glares your way for accidentally transporting Wolf right above his head, so he might.

You and Artemis got comfortable on the large couch as the Video loaded. Artemis couldn't help but to further Kaldur's uncomfortableness (you were still unsure why he kept casting awkward glances your way.) by stretching out, putting her legs across his lap and ended up leaning back in your lap too. You just smiled at the devious blonde, resting your hands on her cotton clad shoulder as she got comfortable. 

The video started with an old timey countdown (you appreciated Robin's dedication.)

"Evig su lla nrocpop." You whispered, even though you knew no matter what, Artemis was going to hear you. Popcorn bags appeared in everyone's laps, a consensus of "Thanks, Zee." and variations of that came from everyone around you. Except the girl in _your_ lap.

"Come on, it's popcorn." You reasoned.

"Whatever, babe." She said dismissively, sliding a few pieces of popcorn out of the bag you ended up sharing, and into her mouth. "Thanks." She muttered. 

Catchy music started playing and a Text log popped up on the glowing screen:

**Zatanna-Robin**

_Robin: You're coming to Artemis's party, right?_  
Zatanna: 'Course. Already with her.  
Robin: Oh? Any disasters yet?  
Zatanna: Nope. Very aster. We're heading to the warehouse right now.  
Robin: See you soon, Magic girl. ;)  
Zatanna: See you soon, Boy Wonder. c: 

You could feel Artemis shift in your lap, crossing her arms. Probably not too excited that Robin was the one you were texting while she was wrangling the unhappy turtles in the backseat of her car. 

There were a few pictures of said turtles in the 'illegal turtle race track' that had been set up in the warehouse, numbers painted onto the shell of each turtle with red paint. There was a few pictures of Wally holding up his turtle, (that you recall he had named Speedy.) and collecting the money he'd bet on it. (Roy did not look happy.) 

"Yeah! Go Speedy!" Wally whooped, fist pumping.

Another Text log flashed up onto the screen:

**Robin-Wally**

_Wally: Dude! What the hell happened to you, Conner and Roy?_  
Robin: Long story short, we now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken. But we also got more food from the Warehouse next door!  
Wally: You're just going to have them bill Wayne corp. or something aren't you?  
Robin: Please. I have my own bank account now.  
Wally: Classy, Grayson, Classy.  


You could hear an incredulous chuckle come from Artemis, her arms still crossed and a slight pout pulling at her features. You decided to run your fingers through her hair, separating it into 3 blonde strands and beginning to plait your affection into it. She glanced at you, just for a moment, before giving you a heartwarming (and stomach twisting) smile and returning her gaze to the huge picture of Dick, Roy and Wally in a 'grind train'. 

You started remembering them (somehow already wasted enough to get really openly homosexual) trying to get everyone else to join in.

"DUDE. What the fuck?" Wally growled, glaring at Robin.

"Calm down, I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for that!" Robin said, raising his hands defensively. Roy nodded in agreement. You don't think he, of all people, would know about heterosexual explanations for anything.

"Yeeeeaaaah. I doubt that." Artemis smirked.

"Don't even get me started, 'Arty'?" Roy growled, holding his fingers up as air quotations around the word 'Arty'. Was that a shot at you? You could literally feel Artemis tense up and start buzzing with anger. This reminded you of the fights that broke out between them last night (that of course ended in the demise of that poor innocent lamp.). 

"Calm down." You murmured to her, trying to be soothing while your fingers worked to make her hair into a loosely woven braid of gold. "I'm pretty sure he kissed Kaldur last night, so." Both of your voices rose into a symphony of airy giggles.

The next picture to flash up on the glowing screen was a picture of Artemis round-house kicking Shimmer (that weird girl with half of her head shaven and no eyebrows.) in the face. You vaguely recalled that happening. Just before you and Artemis went out to pick up the bags of food and booze that Mal had left in the back of his car. You glanced at Artemis.

"Oh right, I remember that." She laughed, glancing over to you and meeting your gaze. "What? It was just a reflex! BOOM! I kicked her in the face." You shook your head, smiling as you tied of the end of her braid.

The next photo to come up was (of course) you and Artemis dancing, all of those sketchy guys surrounding you. You easily spotted that sweaty guy that kept wanting you to lick him. The picture looked like it had been taken from the balcony, really showing off how close you and Artemis were to each other, and the men. 

"I believe some people would call that an orgy." Wally commented. You and Artemis glared at him in synchronicity. 

You almost burst out laughing when the next photo was of Wally licking the drug-sweat guy. The look of disgust on Wally's face was priceless. 

"OH GOD." He said, and in a _flash_ he was in the kitchen washing his mouth out dramatically with the sink sprayer.

The next few pictures were taken so close together it almost looked like a stop motion film. It started with a picture of you and Artemis grinding and being grinded on, M'gann floating above you heads, M'gann pouring ice on the all of you, you and Artemis looking angry and then all of you laughing. Suddenly in the next picture you, Arty and that blonde girl from Dick's school were watching M'gann, yes, M'gann chug an entire box of wine. "Wooohoooo, go M'gann!" Wally said as he returned from the kitchen, soaked from his head to his shoulders. The next picture was a selfie, (you think it was from your phone.) of the blonde girl smiling, (Bette, you think that was her name.), Artemis kissing your cheek and M'gann grinning, wearing a 'American Girl Drinking Team.' shirt. You glanced over at M'gann who was hiding her face on her hands. 

There was another Text Log after a picture of M'gann taking a body shot off of someone's stomach.

 **Kaldur-Roy**  
 _Roy: Dude, I haven't seen you take a drink ALL night!_  
Kaldur: I'm designated driver.  
Roy: Designated driver my ass, most of the Team can fly!  
Kaldur:One person on the team can fly.  
Roy: Well the rest of us ARE fly.  
Kaldur: Uh huh. How has your night been?  
Roy: Other than that one guy getting stabbed, pretty great.  
Kaldur: As expected.  
Roy: I'm coming over to where your brooding, and you will drink. Even if I have to stuff the booze down your throat.  
Kaldur: Can't wait.  
  
The next few picture were of Roy and Kaldur chugging massive amounts of liquor and throwing one dollar bills at----You almost choke.

"Oh god."

The following photoss were a _wonderful_ montage of you and Artemis dancing on the bar, letting random people stuff money into your clothing. 

You're pretty sure that was illegal.

Dear god.

Artemis was just cracking up in your lap, her shoulders shaking as laughter rocked her body. You jabbed your fingers at her ribs, which only made her laugh more. Everyone around you was laughing too. You weren't nearly as amused. Maybe because through out the night, you'd apparently switched out of pants and into a rather short pair of shorts.

Everyone went silent when there was a picture (luckily from behind) of Artemis _flashing the entire party_. Now it was your turn to laugh. You were quickly joined by the others, even Kaldur, in a chorus of giggles and silly hollering. (Missing the tones of Artemis's laughter, obviously.)

"We will never speak of this after today, okay?" She growled, and there really was no arguing with her. She could probably hunt you all down and have your heads mounted on walls before you could stutter out a half baked apology. 

The laughter soon subsided and the silence was soon filled by a voicemail. It took you a moment to realize who it was from and to. 

"There's fireworks going off and I can't find yoouuuu. I feel like this isn't a coincidence, Zee. Please don't be deadddd. That would be nooooo fun. Also, M'gann and Kaldur are taking shots together, heeelllp." Artemis's voice slurred. You had an odd sort of flashback, like an actual that-so-raven sort of vision, but like, of the past. You remembered having to revive your phone with a spell after using it to try and hit Wally, (You were helping Roy, you weren't just being violent, you swear.), and then seeing the missed phone call, listening to the voicemail and smiling, then texting Artemis back as Roy tried to shoot Wally with the fireworks he'd stolen from a neighboring warehouse. 

The next text log was one you'd seen this morning, plus some. 

**Artemis-Zatanna**

_Artemis: Where are you? There's fireworks going off and I can't find you. You're alive right?_  
Zatanna: Roof top. Roy's shooting at Wally with Roman Candles.  
Artemis: Ah! I want to see.  
Zatanna: Well, ditch M'gann and Kaldur and get up here!  
Artemis: Don't tell me what to do, Witch Girl.  
Artemis: I'll be up there in a sec.  
Zatanna:  <3333 

"Gaaaaayyyyyy." Wally commented from his perch on the armchair Robin had sat down in.

"Shut it, Wallace Rudolph." You growled, knowing it was basically exactly what Artemis was going to say. The blonde archer held up her hand and you graciously accepted the highfive. 

There was several more pictures of blurs of Wally and multi colored fireballs, you laughing and then Artemis, Conner , M'gann and Kal all on the roof with you. (As indicated by a drunken group selfie.)  
The next few pictures after that were already burned into your memory. Conner ripping his shirt off, screaming "I'M VODKA MAN. I AM THE TRUE VODKA MAN." and then Kaldur jumping around in what looked like an interpretive dance of ordering food at Taco Bell.

**Artemis-Zatanna**

_Artemis: Lost you again. :c We're at the bay, bae._  
Zatanna: Yeah, yeah. Conner's ripping his shirt off, screaming "I'M VODKA MAN."  
Zatanna: We might have to spray him with a hose.  
Artemis: Wally is tying Roy up and Kaldur is dancing around like a gay fairy.  
Kaldur crossed his arms and let out an indignant huff. __  
Zatanna: Not surprised.  
Artemis: I think they're going to throw Roy into the bay. I think Robin's hitting on Wally.  
Zatanna: Still not surprised.  
Artemis: Yep, they are. It's happening. Both things. Should I be jealous?  
You glared in the direction of Wally as he raised his eyebrows suggestively at Artemis as he highfived Robin. __  
Zatanna: Mmm...  
Artemis: I wonder if I should do something. About the Roy thing.  
Zatanna: Mhm.  
Artemis: Roy is dating my sister so....Maybe not.  
Zatanna: Mm.  
Artemis: I really love these meaningful conversations we have, Z.  
Zatanna: Same. We'll be there soon, M'gann is trying to get Conner to stop jumping off things and talking about how he's invincible and 'Hardcore Parkour'.  
M'gann giggled. __  
Artemis: Can't wait to see that and you.  
Artemis: Oh my god, they threw Roy into the bay. 

_Zatanna: Hhhh, we're on our way. M'gann's really determined to steal this rolling pin from a bakery._  
Artemis: Take your time, hopefully Roy will drown.  
Zatanna: ARTEMIS.  
Zatanna: R00d.  
Artemis: Go home, You're drunk.  
Zatanna: Obvi.  
You laughed a little, watching Roy and Artemis flip each other off. __  
Artemis: Don't though. Seriously, get here already. Watching Kaldur trying to save Roy drunk isn't nearly as entertaining as it sounds.  
Zatanna: I'm not exactly the most entertaining person, Arty.  
Artemis: I'm sure you'll find a way. c;  
"Gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy." Wally piped up again. You glared at him. He had absolutely no room to talk after licking that sweaty guy or grinding on Dick all night, but that didn't stop you from actually taking his ability to talk. 

"Epat sih htuom tuhs." You waved your hand in the direction of Wally. Tape appeared and slapped down over his mouth with a satisfying force. You glanced down at Artemis, waiting for her to scold you for using your magic and shutting douche-tron 3000 up. She surprised you when she smiled and said "If I had magic powers, I'd be doing that all the time." 

****__  
Zatanna: Update: M'gann successfully stole the rolling pin.  
Artemis: I'm proud of her.  
Zatanna: So am I.  
Artemis: Hurry hurry hurry.  
Zatanna: I can see you right now, shhh.  


"Why did I think it was so nessacary to steal that rolling pin" M'gann questioned from her spot in Conner's arms. 

The next picture was the one from Kaldur's phone of Roy floating in the air, and the following photo was the one of M'gann using her powers from your phone. 

A photo of you and Zatanna getting Piggy-back rides from Kaldur had you all laughing again. Then Roy slapping Wally with a bag of glitter had the entire group in hysterics. 

The next thing to come up was another, very long Text Log. 

****Kaldur-Artemis.** **

_Artemis: I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat._  
Kaldur: Oh god. Where are you?  
Artemis: Near the bakery M'gann stole that rolling pin from.  
Artemis: 413 Batter street. Kind of near that Witch shop.  
Kaldur: HOW DID YOU WALK 4 MILES IN 10 MINUTES?  
Artemis: Zatanna 'etativel'-ed us. She's magic, don'ch ya know?  
Kaldur: Must have missed the memo. I'm on my way.  
Artemis: Where are the others?  
Kaldur: Roy and Wally wrapped Superboy in toilet paper, spun him around and had him super-jump somewhere, so I'm not sure for him.  
Kaldur: M'gann, Roy and Wally are...  
Artemis: :?  
Kaldur: Oh god, they're streaking. I'm on my way.  
Artemis: Wait, get a picture.  
Kaldur: No. I am not drunk enough for that.  
Artemis: Lame. Hurry up and get here, Zatanna's trying to make me give the cat back.  
Artemis: I think it's my sister.  
Artemis: It has that judgemental look in its eye.  
Artemis: And it looks like it would make out with douchey ginger tomcats.  
You glanced down at Artemis, expecting her to be in another flipping off and dirty look battle with Roy, but rather, her eyes had closed and her features had that peaceful look she pretty much only wore when she slept. __Kaldur: This is slowly not being about cats, isn't it.  
Artemis: Everything is about cats, Kal.  
Kaldur: Of course, I'm almost there.  
Artemis: Zatanna's planning the demise of all of you guys, btw.  
Artemis: I wonder if this is normally what he thinks about in her head, but being as white girl wasted as she is, she's saying it aloud.  
Kaldur: Comforting. I don't know if her intoxication level of 'Caucasian female' has much to do with it.  
Artemis: She's still trying to make me give my sister/cat back. :c  
Kaldur: I'm sure its owners miss it.  
Artemis: Shhhhh.  
Artemis: She's taking her clothes off, help.  
Artemis: I NOW HAVE SEEN TOO MUCH OF EVERYONE TODAY.  
You blushed, pretending not to notice everyones eye's shift over to you. __Artemis: But whatever. She's wearing her costume now.  
Artemis: Kal.  
Artemis: Kaldur.  
Artemis: Are you dead?  
Kaldur: No, I was picking up Waffles and chicken from my favourite diner.  
Artemis: Ahhhh, I want some!  
Kaldur: You have to give the cat back.  
Artemis: No.  
Kaldur: Artemis...  
Artemis: It's my sister, Kaldur.  
Kaldur: Artemis....No.  
Artemis: Don't you doubt me, fish boy.  
Kaldur: I'm down the street.  
Artemis: Nerd.  
Kaldur: No chicken and Waffles for you, Young lady.  
Artemis: :cccc  
  
You glanced over at Kaldur who just shrugged and smiled. (Him and Roy had been eye humping all night, this is fucking ridiculous.) You glanced down at the sleeping face of Artemis, tucking a piece of her hair back into the braid. 

Now that you looked around, you noticed that Conner and M'gann were dozing off too. Wally was laying on the floor, using Wolf as a pillow, looking pretty close to passing out too. 

The next few pictures were of said speedster. One of him letting Artemis and Rob eat tacos off of his abs, (which made your stomach twist with jealousy so suddenly that you almost flinched.) and another, which you think was a selfie of him using the last of his duct tape to cover a sleeping Mal Duncan's shins. 

By the time the slide show came to an end, you, Robin and Kaldur were the only ones still awake. 

"I'm just amazed all of us are alive after that." Robin commented as he stood up, stretching in his Superman onesie, and then shutting off the projection. You both bid a sleepy Kaldur goodnight before Robin came up to you. "I snagged this out of the line up." He said, handing you your phone back. "I didn't think you'd want everyone seeing something you didn't remember." He laughed a bit. "Anyway, Goodnight Zatanna." 

"Goodnight, Boy Wonder." You said as he disappeared. You glanced down at the glowing screen of your phone, Sim card intact again. You felt a heated blush spread across your cheeks and onto the tips of your ears, a surprised huff of air pushing past your lip. 

No wonder your lips tasted like her chapstick this morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the tom-foolery comes to a close. I've decided that I will in fact be writing another, semi-serious fic with The Team. It'll update slightly less seeing as it will take relatively more effort. (tbh, i'm avoiding doing much for these first few weeks of summer.) So yih. There will probs be more 'Young-Justice-Goes-Ke$ha' fics in the future. Ha.


End file.
